Hello all, it’s been a little while since my last post. In case you didn’t realize, that post was a bit of a rant, towards the end though, I definitely calmed down a bit. This blog really is turning out to be therapeutic for me, which brings me to what I want to talk about today; vulnerability and it’s role in helping us to partake in the Sacred Flow of the Divine, so let’s get down to business shall we?
Vulnerability is something that a lot of people struggle with, especially in a western, individualized culture. This idea that we should share our inner most, darkest aspects of our lives with other people is absolutely foreign. As individuals we should be able to bear this weight on our own back right? We should just keep it in. No one wants to experience the drag that is the crap in my own life right? We can’t let other people in.
Not only that, we refuse to be vulnerable to ourselves too. We deny deny deny. “No, I’m not depressed, it’s just been a rough week.” “No, I don’t have a drinking problem, it’s only every once in a while right?” “Well, hey, I might not be perfect, but at least I’m not as bad as Brian! He smokes 2 packs a day!” We deny that we have problems and pain in our life. We even tell ourselves that we are good in comparison to a “greater evil”.
When we refuse to be vulnerable with others and ourselves we become bottled up. Our emotions are unable to escape. In a way, we are putting a part of ourselves into bondage. This also spills out into our faith and spirituality as well.If we are unable to voice our feelings and delve those deepest parts of our emotions, whether it be depression, anger, pride, fear, shame, etc., we are also unable to voice those to God. You see, voicing our problems, voicing our emotions, giving vocabulary to that which we are experiencing is a huge step in the recovery and healing process. How can you get over your anger if you can’t even admit that your angry? How can you heal from an addiction unless you acknowledge it’s presence? How can you heal a relationship that has been broken without delving into the reasons for the break in the first place? This is vulnerability.
Being vulnerable with yourself and your emotions helps us to process through them, understand them, and eventually, move past them. It is therapeutic to talk about what you are feeling. I don’t know about you, but in high school, I always felt better about whatever girl I was into when I was able to talk about my feelings for her with others. It helped me to process. Now that is a really silly example, but on a more serious note, I have also experienced great loss, which I’m pretty sure I have mentioned in this blog before. When my best friend died, I had two options. I could 1. ignore my emotions or 2. I could express them, and express them I did. Through that expression, through talking with others about it; when I openly cried about it; when I contemplatively delved my feelings about it, I found healing. When my girlfriend broke up with me in my senior year of college, I felt incredibly lost. My whole “plan” to move to England had fallen apart. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. Instead of holding that in, I expressed my emotions through the act of writing songs. Through those songs I was able to verbalize everything that I was feeling, and instead of being more distraught, I found freedom in that act. Vulnerability is saying, instead of being stuck in the bondage of our emotions, we let them lie where they are. We leave them in the cell behind us and walk out into the fresh air, where we are continually invited into the sacred flow of love.
As the quote that marks the cover image for this post says, C.S. Lewis believes that love is inherently vulnerable. Love uncovers and exposes all things. Love breaks apart our walls and our bondage. Love comes in and releases, but we need to let that expression of love come into our lives, but we also need to let it flow out of us, taking with it, our emotions and fears. Love is the essence of our partaking in the Sacred flow. Love seeks healing through expression. Love seeks restoration to brokenness. Love does not let pain and hurt persist until it is a full blow infection, but rather cleans and heals at the start.
Be vulnerable with each other. Let love into your lives. Let love into the relationships you have around you. Seek healing and restoration in your lives and the lives of those around you. Let the therapeutic act of restoration through the expression of vulnerability and love overflow your spirits and, as always, may you fully take part in the Sacred Flow, letting it carry you where it will.
Grace and Peace,
This is a personal blog and does not necessarily represent the views of Community Church or any groups mentioned here